Strictly Business

Sorry, but what follows in this blog is a bit of shameless promotion....

Just put up the new website for my business, Tours By Alicia. If you know of anyone coming to Cartagena or Colombia any time soon, please send them this link: http://www.toursbyalicia.com

I give tours of the Old City and sell cheap tickets for activities in and around Cartagena.

If you know of someone who needs a place to stay in Cartagena, send them Casa Sweety's brand new hotel video: http://vimeo.com/10495692

Casa Sweety - Boutique Hotel - Cartagena, Colombia from GetUp&Go Films on Vimeo.

You'll get a glimpse of me giving tours near the end of the video! :) If they need proof of our reliability, send them a link to our Trip Advisor reviews http://tinyurl.com/qcaqpw - here, you'll see reviews on my tours and tour advice, as well.

Thanks for your love and support!

Colombia's Congressional Elections

From the armed military police walking around, you'd think that Colombia was going to war. Instead, they're just defending voters against possible acts of violence by FARC and other paramilitary groups.


Today, Colombian voters will choose 102 Senate seats and 166 representatives in the legislative elections. This election may shed light on the presidential election which is to be held at the end of May.


The infamous FARC (Fuerzas Amardas Revolucionarias de Colombia aka Revolutionary Armed Forces of Colombia) threatened the safety of voters and politicians, as they do nearly every year, so the government stepped up security (armed military officers were at every polling station) and police officers coated the streets. In order to protect it's democratic process, Colombia also placed a temporary halt on the sale of alcohol and motorcycle rental, and even closed its land borders. 


I think I've figured out everything but the sale of alcohol. The motorcycle rental ban is to prevent drive-by shootings, which motorcycles are often used for by these paramilitary groups. Travel is restricted so people can't vote more than once. Alcohol still confuses me. Alcohol obviously can get in the way of making sane decisions, but if you want to cause trouble, you don't need alcohol to do it. Plus, people could always plan ahead and buy alcohol to drink in their own home. I can't seem to figure out the logic, but I do appreciate the safety measures put forth in order to allow Colombians their democratic right to vote. {Picture above from local supermarket aisle says that alcohol consumption and sale is prohibited from 6pm on Friday until 6am on Monday according to the Dry Law in effect throughout all of Colombia}


I hope that FARC and other rebel groups didn't interfere too much in these elections. There's no way drug trafficking didn't influence politics at all in this race. At least 90 legislators are under investigation of being linked to right-wing paramilitary groups. One candidate offered subsidized housing to his potential voters...seems a little suspect to me. This persuasion technique, however, is much less severe than what's been done in previous years.


One of my older friends told me of his recollection of the 1990 presidential election when 4 presidential candidates were murdered before election day. I read today that in an election 8 years ago there were over 200 political kidnappings. I couldn't even fathom the fear Colombians must have gone through during that time. These rebel groups will do (and have done) anything in their power to control the vote. This year in Tolima, where my birth family is from, they set a bus on fire, and in Cali, where most of my birth family lives now, they tried to set off a car bomb.


But their attempts at scaring people away from the polls this year are not working. President Uribe has done an amazing job the past few years (even though many didn't like that he tried to change the constitution so he could run for a third term) fighting FARC and other paramilitary groups, and the significant drop in violence and kidnappings in Colombia is attributed to his tight, fearless security measures. The rebels may have a less obvious way of swaying the vote this year, but when the results come out tomorrow, Colombia should know which direction the country is heading.

Mom, Defined.

Someone asked me recently how I define the term "mom." While many people may default to whomever gave birth to them, my answer is a little more complicated.

• A mom to me is someone who has always loved me since I came into her life. 
• A mom will support me, even if she doesn't agree with my actions. 
• Mom will take care of you and try her hardest to keep you healthy and happy. A mom would even sacrifice her happiness for her children's.
• A mom is someone I can tell anything to, and I'll know she'll never leave my side through good times or bad. 
• A mom teaches her children everything she knows because she only wants the best for them. 
• I can always trust my mom. A mom will never lie to me (except that one time when she switched my pet bird out with another and didn't tell my brother and I for at least 5 years! ;) ). 
• A mom will tell you straight-up if she thinks you're making a bad decision. 
• A mom will never try to hurt me on purpose, especially physically!  
• A mom will always make me feel better when I'm sick. She always seems to know the cure.
• Moms will try to lift you up on those really hard days.
• A mom always seems to make the best home-made food. 
• A mom can remember things about their child that even they might forget. 
• A mom will always want to be your Valentine.
• A mom will stand up for you even when no one else will.
• A mom to me will help mold their child's life by introducing them to new food, cultures, religion, sports, music, and educational opportunities, but she'll never try to hold her child back or restrict learning about something new even if it worries her. 
• Moms will always want to know what's new with their children. 

I guess I don't agree that a "mom" is simply one who gives birth to a child. There is a lot more attached to that word for me. For that reason, I am having difficulty calling my birth mother, "mom." I have dedicated hours of this topic to a few unlucky friends, and I have realized that I just can't do it and there's nothing wrong with that. Yes, Teodora gave birth to me. Yes, she is my birth mom. But she has not had the chance to be my "mom" yet. 

Things may change and it may become easier to one day call her "mom," but based on my definition, I know she'll never replace my mom completely. My mama fits my "mom" description. She's who I based my definition off, so how could she ever be replaced?

Yes, I'm about to quote Tupac. "Ain't a woman alive that could take my mama's place." :)

I know my birth mom wanted the best for me from day 1; she knew she couldn't give me what I needed- food, education, a home. I know now that she still has plenty of love to give me and has never forgotten about me, but does that mean she automatically becomes my "mom?"

The worst part is that I have to somehow tell my birth mom that I feel uncomfortable with calling her "mom." Can you imagine how hard that's going to be?? I know there are a few out there reading this who can relate in some way- with a step parent or birth parent. It gets sticky with birth parents because by dictionary definition, they are your "mom." I'm just worried that she'll be upset. I'm not sure if I should just start calling her Dora or if I should try to explain my feelings and let her know that I'm thankful to have found her, but that this is a lot to take in and that'd I'd like to take things at a slow pace...?

The reason this naming thing is an issue at all is that within the first few days of knowing my birth mom, she started saying that she loved me.... 

Love is another word that deserves its own blog post, but it should be obvious to you by now that this whole situation has caused a lot of confusion. I feel guilty that I could deny my own "mother" her title. Isn't it a birth right? I realize that I'm lucky to have two women who consider me their daughter since there are many people who have lost their mothers, but I can't deny this inner conflict that has arisen. While there's no replacement for my mom, there may be space for two moms someday...but it'll definitely take time.

Which Path Are You Following?

I don't have much time to jot down my feelings, but I felt the need to write a quick blog this morning. I know its been awhile since I've written; I've had a lot of feelings to deal with that I'm still not sure I'm ready to share on this blog. It's hard exposing myself to everyone as I go through emotion after emotion. That being said, I hope those who still read my blog aren't disappointed by my recent lack of exposure.

I have to say, I never believed in fate more than I do now. In Colombia, every time I follow my gut, follow my real feelings and desires, I end up exactly where I feel I should be. The past few days I decided to follow a new path, conquer new fears, and do things I've never done before but have always wondered about. My path lead me to a few people and experiences I will not soon forget. While I don't have time to retell everything, I thought one meeting in particular might be interesting to a few (especially those who know my entire adoption search story). 

The end of the new path I took two nights ago, lead me to a bar last night that I had not been to in several months. It was 3am and the group I was with wanted to hear salsa music. I wanted to show my new friend the view from this bar's window on the 2nd floor. I had taken a picture from that same window exactly a year ago when I came to Cartagena for the first time and that view has always been magical to me. There's just something about the smokey lighting that permeates through the Passageway of the Martyrs and finds its way to the Clock Tower entrance to the Old City that gives me a feeling of peace and happiness. I glanced at a woman sitting right where I was hoping to sit. She yelled something to her mate who was inside the bar and caught my eye. I did a double-take. "No, it couldn't be," I thought. "But maybe...?" I immediately turned to this new friend of mine who already knows more about me than you could imagine, and began to tell him that she looked exactly like this woman I had been communicating with about my adoption last year. I didn't get the whole sentence out though before something within me kicked me forward to just say something to this woman. 

She looked at me, noticing that I had been staring at her, and apologized, asking if I wanted to stand in the area she was in. I shook my head, and bent down to where she was sitting. I said, "No, no...it's just that I thought you were this woman named Alina." Her eyes lit up and said, "I AM Alina!!" I couldn't hold back. The same feelings that I had experienced for the first time last month came rushing back and I couldn't help but cry. For those of you who don't know, Alina is who I am named after. My first name, before I was adopted, was Alina Marin. I got Marin from my birth mother and Alina from a woman who worked at Chiquitines, the orphanage I lived in for 3 months of my life. Alina was around 20 years old when I was born and her position was similar to that of an Office Manager. She was the owner's daughter and spoke the most English of anyone at Chiquitines. Alina communicated with my parents via snail mail about me. 

As I've said in previous posts, my mom saved almost every single letter and piece of information she could from my adoption. Last year at Christmas she gave me a booklet of everything she had saved- pictures, letters, documents, case statements, etc. It was one of the best Christmas gifts I'd ever gotten. :) I started picking through the details and decided to try to find Alina Hleap by Googling her. I found out through Google that she is a movie producer and I even found her email address. I emailed her, hoping it was the same Alina Hleap, and I lucked out. We almost met a year ago because she was in Cartagena for the International Film Festival (an annual Festival that's in Cartagena now) while I was visiting for the first time. We never did find a moment to meet, which was disappointing at the time, but maybe it was for a reason. 

Alina, as she herself told me last night, held me in her arms the first 3 months of my life. She explained to my friend that she felt like she had been my mother those 3 months. Finding her meant a lot to me. I couldn't stop thanking her for all that she did for me as a baby. Without a place like Chiquitines, I don't know where I'd be or if I'd even be alive. Meeting her was like meeting my birth mom again. It was very emotional for both of us. She kept asking how I knew it was her. While I've seen her main Facebook photo, I really didn't know her face well. I don't know how to explain it, but it was the same feeling I got when I saw my birth mother for the first time- I just knew. 

The night couldn't have ended any better. Things just keep coming in full circles. I don't know where this path started or where it might end, but I'm fully enjoying this journey and I hope I continue to really listen to myself since it seems that I'm finding my way.
(Pic above of yellow brick road from Wizard of Oz)