I need to know that my birth mom is still living in the same house in Cali. I have contacted the few people I know in Cali and am waiting to hear what they can find out. One contact I had (who shall remain nameless) offered to connect me to a man she knows who would search for $200.... The listed reasons for the amount of money owed were "Transportation, etc." While I realize all of these people don't know me well, I thought this a bit ridiculous since this neighborhood is in Cali and can't be that far out of the city. With $200, I could buy a plane ticket from Cartagena to look myself next month!
If I only had to buy one ticket, I could go now. I think I would feel stronger, emotionally, if I had a friend to listen to me and support me...and force me to knock on Teodora's door. For this reason, I've decided to bring Monica to Cali with me. She's a good friend, an awesome supporter, and she has the ability to make me smile no matter what's going on in my life. She's never been on a plane before and has never ventured far from Cartagena; I know she'll have a fantastic time- she always does. Ontop of the trip for two, Colombia is just starting to implement their high season prices (Dec. 15th until Jan. 15), so plane tickets and hotel rates have sky-rocketed. I'd rather not spend a fortune on a whim.
Last, but certainly not least, I am scared out of my mind. I've tried to "prepare" for what I could say to her when she answers the door, but everything I think of looks ridiculous on paper. People keep saying it'll just come to me, but I'm worried it won't. Of course it's frustrating not being fluent yet, but I'm just hoping I can remember enough vocabulary to be able to express myself the way I would like.
I need to be prepared. I'm battling a lot of fear and doubts, and I'm planning for the worst. I heard this neighborhood is very dangerous, so I'm scared of the pain I might feel when I see how she's living. There is a lot of poverty out here and if she's living in a dangerous neighborhood in Cali, chances are she's still suffering from a bad financial position.Needless to say, it feels like there's a storm brewing inside me and I have no doubt that being home, near those I love and who love me, will help calm my fears, anxiety, pain, and stress. Christmas and New Year's are a great time to refresh and reflect...and prepare for the future. While these reasons could have been tossed to the side and I could've taken the plunge to find my biological mom, I think that waiting until January may be best for me (as much as I denied it at first). 2010 is right around the corner, and I'm right down the street from my past...and my future.
I haven't read your post yet, but don't pay that money. I talked with my mother in law last night, I have to tell you she lives in Mexico and sh is visiting Cali, she just got hter Yesterday and I already ask her to ask for that neighborhood. The only thing she told me was that she sees Cali really bad, the poverty has increased and it is not really safe to go aroind some neighborhoods without taking some precautions, you will have to go with somebody who speaks Spanish, I don't mean to scare you but if you haven't lived enough in Colombia anything can scare you. colombia is my country and I love being a Colombia and I hate when people talk bad things about Colombia but people need to know that each country is different, people don't have the same opporutnities her as americans have in the US, if you can get a work in Colombia you will starve to death or you will have to steall to eat. In the US you have food stamps, you have shelters, you have charity...etc.
ReplyDeleteOk I think I am talking more than I should but what I wanted to say is my mother in law is going to give me some information depending on how is the neighborhood or something I could ask her for more, but you nee to kno that her only brother is on a wheelchair (just thinking on a man who can help you there) .
I can also can ask her to look on the phone book for a phone number, and I can call to see if she is still there or depending on the neighborhood I can ask them to go and ask, I don't know what you want but don't give anybody money yet, as you say you can go and look by youyr self for that money, it is not much but it is not necessary.
send me a message on Adoption Voices, I will give you my personal email and my phone number if you want.
Lina
I have read it now, my husband's aunt is a lawyer there, I haven't had time to talk to her about this because I never call her and I don't want to call her just to aks her a favor then I need my husband to say hi to her and give me the phone..the problem has been he is coming home very late and as you know Colombia is now an hour ahead from here (I live in Louisiana)..
ReplyDeleteJust tell me what youhave there, if you have people and how exactly you need and I will tell you if I can get something. I want to help you if I can't do it for any reason I'll just tell you. I know my sons will look for his bio mom later on in his life, and I know we will need this kind of help once he decides to look for her.
Lina